KOTOR Carth's Reflections
by Banbha
Summary: Carth reflects his time with Revan and their love, from discovering her true identity to events after KOTOR and KOTOR II. This is a one-shot bit of fiction


_The irony of all ironies is the day I found out the woman that I fought by and fell in love with, was the former Dark Lord Revan. Revan. A master Jedi, the brightest and greatest hero of the Mandalorian War; a person that I had admired during the war for taking action against a threat to the Republic when the Jedi Council wouldn't. But, I got to know Revan when she was Skye Bell, an identity that the Jedi Council gave her when they wiped her memories. No one can say that the Jedi Council wastes their greatest Jedi if they happen to fall and was not beyond salvation. Something had happened to her out on the Outer Rim, something that brought a great hero down and enticed her to the Dark Side._

_Now, she was the one woman that saved the Republic from the Sith and her former apprentice. Revan is a shining beacon, burning so bright that it burns to the touch. I was drawn to her light, to her fire, and I willingly burned. Sure, some would say that my romance with her came out of the desperate flight to save the Republic, but what do they know? She was the most frustrating woman I ever knew but she pushed me, met each barb I threw out and never blinked an eye or held a punch back. What was there not to love? _

Scratching at the scruff of beard on his face, Carth leaned back and blinked. Looking out the window to the setting sun, he sighed. He missed her. Revan had been gone for over two years, searching for something in the Uncharted Territories, retracing her steps that she had taken after the Mandalorian War. Maybe it was for peace of mind; or to find answers of how she had turned so readily to the dark side. Carth had pleaded with her to stay and not search for those answers. She was needed here, with him, with their family. Deep down, however, Carth knew that there wasn't going to any lasting peace in Revan until she got her answers. Her time as a Dark Lord haunted her, despite any happiness she did have with him and their family.

"Father?" Dustil poked his head into the study.

"What is it, Dustil?" He looked on his son; his pride and joy, the one thing he could never repay Revan for giving him back his son.

"They're here."

"Thank you, son. I'll be right out." Raking his hands through the hair, Carth leaned forward to the computer terminal and looked at what he had written.

_It is two years to the day since Revan's disappearance. There have been rumors of sightings out on the Outer Rim but nothing concrete. There are so many she left behind that love her. However, she took a piece of me with her. _

_Revan, come home. I miss you._

_I love you._

Clicking off the terminal, Carth stood up and stretched. He grabbed his burnt orange jacket from the back of the chair and walked out of the study. All the companions that joined Revan to find the Star Forge were here, to reminisce and drink to her, where ever she was.

O::==::{-

_Three years prior…_

The shock of her true identity still weighed on Carth. He brooded in the cockpit of the Ebon Hawk as it traveled in hyperspace to the last planet to search for a star map. Bastila had been captured and Skye…Revan, was somewhere on ship, meditating or doing whatever Jedi's do. Carth sighed heavily, looking within himself and comparing all that has happened during his time with Revan, and with the stories of Darth Revan. Was it possible for a Jedi to find the light side again after being so entrenched in the dark side? Can a Jedi be redeemed? Why did the Council let her live?

Was everything that was spoken between them a lie? The Dark Lord was responsible for his family's death! Shaking his head, Carth had to rethink that. No, the bombardment of Telos was Malak's and Saul's doing. His mind was telling him not to trust her but his heart was pulling toward trusting Revan. She needed his help, his protection. There was still great danger coming and Revan needs to be strong.

With a growl, Carth stood up from the pilot's chair and headed into the Ebon Hawk and toward Skye's…Revan's bunk. She had the only single room; even it was not very large, on the freighter. As he walked up to it, noting the quietness of this part of the ship with only the slight hum of the engine rumbling under his feet, Carth noticed her door was open. Leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, Carth watched Revan.

Her hair was loose from the usual tie, cascading in dark ebony waves over her shoulders. Revan was dressed down to a tank and pants, sitting cross-legged on the floor, seemingly deep in meditation. She was beautiful, even when he first dragged her out of the crashed escape pod and watched over her, he appreciated her exotic beauty then. Even with the poise of concentration and peace, Carth still saw the fine lines of tragedy and sorrow around her eyes and mouth. Revan looked youthful but she was the same age as he was.

"You're staring is distracting, Carth." She said, opening her eyes slowly, revealing storm grey eyes.

"I thought you Jedi couldn't be distracted when in meditation?"

She sighed softly, "I'm having….difficulty in getting into it."

"Thinking about knowing who you are?" Carth tried not to sound heartbroken.

"You think it is tough on you on whether to trust me because of what I have done after the Mandalorian War. I remember fragmented pieces of the war, and of my time as the Dark Lord of the Sith. I…feel the anger of betrayal from my apprentice but…also the joy of victory from leading armies against the Mandalorians. But trying to recollect the whole…that slips away from my fingers."

"I've been thinking too. The others are right. It doesn't matter what you were in the past. You have proven yourself repeatedly that you are doing right. My head wants to hate you, it blames you for the tragedy of my life, but it is unfair when I know it wasn't you at all." He ducked his head, looking to the deck and chewing on what he wanted to say next. "Look, was everything between us a lie? The things that were said, is that true?"

"Stop standing in the door and come in, Carth, if you don't want this to go beyond this room and us." Revan turned her head up to him.

He did as she asked and stepped in; closing the door after him then leaned back against it. Carth searched her eyes, looking for deceit but found none. There was confusion and uncertainty but her strong will and personality still shone through.

"Everything I had said, that we shared, it is all true. I have never thought that I could have such strong feelings for anyone as I do for you. We Jedi are not supposed to form such attachments but how can a philosophy dictate a person's heart?"

"What is the Council afraid of?"

Revan shrugged. "Love is a distraction. It makes a person irrational, and can cause strong reactions of anger, sorrow, or other negative feelings that leave a Jedi vulnerable to the dark path."

Carth snorted. "It can also strengthen and give hope. It provides a purpose to want to do right by the other. Sure, there is some bad stuff but does it outweigh the good?"

"Does it?" Revan asked Carth quietly. "Can it overcome vengeance?"

Oh, she jabbed him good with that comment, even if the phrasing was quiet. He crumbled then, knowing that this remarkable and obstinate woman had wormed deep inside his cynical heart. Taking a step toward Revan, Carth squatted down to be at eye level with her. He reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes, tucking it away behind her ear. His hand stayed there at her cheek, his thumb softly caressing across the smooth skin.

"Anything is possible." Carth replied after a while. He leaned in and brushed her lips with his, surprised at how soft they were and how the smell of Revan's perfume would waft up to his nose. The last woman he kissed this intimately was his wife, Morgana. Carth parted from the kiss, mere inches from her lips, a small smile breaking on his face.

Revan's lips quirked upwards, "So, does this mean the great Carth Onasi forgives me?"

"It means, as we were discussing, that love can forgive many things. My revenge is unimportant next to the need in wanting to be with you, protecting you, and supporting you for the trials yet to come."

"What are you trying to say?" Revan asked Carth.

"That I love you, am in love with you, and sorry that I am a distraction but I can't help how I feel."

"You are a distraction I don't mind." Revan smiled at Carth, a rare beautiful smile that transformed her guarded face. "I love you too, Carth Onasi."

Hearing those words from this strong and stubborn Jedi woman made Carth's heart flutter against his chest. He slid his hands on either side of Revan's face and brought her in for a long and deep kiss, their mouths opening to each other. Carth gently pushed Revan back onto the deck flooring, covering her body with his as he continued to kiss and explore the Jedi's mouth. He didn't care about the Jedi's rules regarding emotional attachments, and Carth suspected, neither did Revan. All that mattered was them, admitting and relishing in the pleasure of the blossoming love for the other.

This moment in time was perfect, as he proceeded to love the woman under him.

O::==::{-

His fingers idly played through Revan's dark strands of hair, enjoying the silky feel of it running through. Just having her laying with him on her bunk, her leg and arm draped possessively over him, made Carth content. Looking up at the ceiling, he prayed to whatever force out there, thanking them for placing this creature before him. Carth was unsure of what will happen at the Star Forge but if anything, Revan had to survive, had to bring Bastila back. She had to return to him. This year had led to a lot of hardship for both of them, even more so for Revan. He thought that retiring to some quiet place would do her some good.

She stirred on his chest, turning her face up to look into Carth's eyes. Carth smiled down on Revan, happy as any man could be when he was in love. Revan was no Morgana, being that she was fierce, strong, and incredibly sensual in her natural unconscious way. Revan was also an attentive lover, for Carth never knew where he stopped making love to her and she started making love to him.

"Hello, sleepy head." Carth rumbled.

"'Mornin'." She mumbled sleepily, her lips curving in a relaxed and satisfied smile.

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Do Jedi have internal clocks or something?" Carth teased.

She laughed low in her throat, sending pleasant tingles down Carth's spine. "The Force tells me when it is during the day. There is…a certain feel. It's hard to explain."

"I don't think you need to. I think I understand."

"I believe you do." Her grey eyes looked into his, conveying so much in that gaze that it made Carth shiver. He couldn't explain it but he did understand and on an unconscious level, knew.

O::==::{-

Carth shook his head after the crash landing, hands automatically going to several switches, flipping them and cursing at the dead circuits in the cockpit. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Revan standing next to him. "I'm okay. However, the Ebon Hawk isn't. She's dead. Whatever interfered with the instruments was intentional. Maybe there are some parts among the other wrecks out there to help fix the Hawk."

"We still have the matter of the jamming signal to deal with, or we never will get off the planet. The Star Forge is close but we are still not close to there."

"It's not here on the planet?" Carth asked.

Revan shook her head slowly, gazing distractedly out the cockpit window to the idyllic beach scene before them. "No. We are running out of time, though."

"Great." Carth grumbled. He rested his head back against the pilot chair and sighed deeply. Carth knew they were running out of time. As always, they were one-step behind Malak. He didn't know how he knew, call it gut instinct but he knew that they had to find parts quickly and dismantle whatever was keeping them from leaving. Why couldn't things ever be simple?

He gently grabbed Revan's hand from his shoulder and brought it to his lips, kissing the hollow of her palm softly. Then he pressed her hand to his scruffy cheek. She cupped his cheek, giving Carth a small loving smile. "We will get out of here, Carth." She told him quietly.

"I'll hold you to that."

O::==::{-

_Damn_, he thought, as his breath came in fiery gasps. His hand held his side where Bastila force kicked him. Some part of him registered that Revan was standing protectively in front of him, keeping the other Jedi at bay. "Skye…" He rasped, knowing he called her by the name he met her.

"Carth, not now." She hissed.

"Oh, how sweet!" Bastila sneered. "I didn't think he was your type."

"You don't know me, Bastila, and this isn't you."

"Malak has shown me the true path, Revan! Join us! We can be unstoppable with the Forge in our hands!"

"No." Revan said in that quiet cold voice that made Carth shiver and proud at the same time. "This was never meant for anyone to use."

"There has been no one who could control the Star Forge!"

"It's not of this universe!" Revan's voice rose a little but still remained calm. "It never should have been found again! Bastila, on some level in your head and heart, you know this!"

"Skye…" Carth spoke again. "She's lost to us." He shook his head as he stumbled up, wincing as pain flared in his side. _Yup, there are a couple of broken ribs._

"No one is ever lost if there is still some spark of light, Carth." She spared him a glance. "After all, you saved me from retreating to the darkness again."

"You are so naïve!" Bastila dripped condescension and unleashed the glowing crimson blade of her saber.

Carth watched as Revan met Bastila's thrust, the harsh squelching and screeching hiss of two light sabers resounded in the chamber. Before he knew it, both women were sparring, flipping around and Bastila pulled objects from somewhere to throw at Revan. His heart thumped painfully to see Revan stumble a few times but sprung up to harry at Bastila's blows. Closing his eyes, he sent his encouragement and love toward her, hoping that maybe through the Force, Revan would notice it and use it to bolster her defenses.

When his eyes opened, it held wonder as Revan seemed to gain strength and Carth could swear a light was shining around her. Revan went on the offensive, pushing Bastila back, raining blows and sweeps on the woman, forcing her to keep a guard up lest she be cut down. Bastila stumbled and was forced onto her knees. Carth thought for a moment that when Bastila's saber dropped from her hands, that Revan was going to kill her. However, the shining silver light of her blade stopped short of Bastila.

"Please!" Bastila begged, crying now. "End my life, Revan!"

Revan shook her head. "No, Bastila. That is not the Jedi's way."

"You have beaten me and what I have done…have tasted, I deserve no less."

"If you die, I die, don't you understand?" Revan said, anguish now on her face. "Our lives are tried because you saved my life and inadvertently created a Force Bond!"

"But how can I live with what I have done?" Bastila quietly wailed.

"You deal with it." Revan spoke softly, snapping her light saber off. "You become stronger, knowing what the Dark Side is and what it feels like, so you don't ever fall into that trap again. When I succumbed, I was influenced. Oh, yes, I was impatient and rash! I thought the Council was taking too long to respond to a galactic threat! But for my actions in a war that happened anyway without their help, I saved the galaxy."

"The Star Forge…" Bastila whispered.

Revan sighed heavily, bowing her head. "It is not for the likes of us, Bastila. Nor for anyone. It is evil and would rein destruction down upon everyone. While it creates, it also destroys. It is ever hungry for foolhardy souls to come and try to control it."

"Malak…" Bastila turned her face up in horror.

"I'll deal with him." Revan promised and put out a hand to Bastila.

Carth watched all this, amazed at Bastila's redemption and Revan swooping in like an angel to save a fallen soul. His heart grew painfully in his chest at the love and pride he felt for this incredible woman that graced his sorry, vengeful life. Bastila was helped up, shoulders slumped in grief. Revan nodded, briefly touched Bastila's cheek in understanding, having been there before, and approached Carth.

"You are going to face Malak." Carth stated.

"I have to."

He swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. "I know. Still…"

"Carth, thanks to you, I'm stronger than I have ever been." Revan laid a loving caress on his cheek.

Raising a hand to cover hers, Carth leaned into the caress. "Come back to me, my belle."

Revan gave him the sweetest smile that lighted her entire being. She radiated light and made Carth blink from the vision. He vaguely felt her hand slip from his cheek and watched her walk away and deeper into the Star Forge. Carth still stood there long after Revan's figure was beyond sight.

"Carth?" Bastila asked after him tremulously.

"We better call the navy. After she is done with Malak, we need to blow this place up for good. We will need your help, Bastila." Carth faced Bastila finally.

"Of course." She dipped her head.

O::==::{-

He was fitted with a brace for the broken ribs but Carth refused to be stuck in the infirmary after his injuries were patched up. Being on the bridge, waiting to hear anything from Revan was paramount over the need to be healed. The healer droid tutted away in offense but Carth ignored it and left toward the bridge at a quick pace. Bastila would be into her Battle Meditation and all that was to be done now was receive a signal from Revan that Malak was taken care of and she was safely off the Forge. Somehow, Carth would know if she was safe. Mission and Zaalbar joined him as he strode down the corridor. They were worried about their friend also.

As he was about to reach the last stretch to the bridge, a feeling washed over him that had Carth abruptly change direction toward the ship dock, not wasting any time as his legs trotted into a jog.

"What is it, Carth?" Mission asked.

A smile started on his face. He didn't answer Mission's question as he came to the open doorway of the ship deck, his feet skidding on the floor. A shuttle had just touched down on the deck, releasing the hatchway after it locked down. Breaking into a full run, bumping into deck hands, Carth stopped short of the hatchway. A shadowy figure slowly walked down, the light behind them hiding their face. Carth didn't need to see it anyway, knowing it was her. The woman stumbled and fell to her knees.

Before any deck hand could move, Carth bounded up the ramp toward her, taking the exhausted and battered form of Revan into his arms. He felt her arms slide around him weakly. Pulling back enough to look into Revan's eyes, Carth grinned. He brushed away the dark hair from her face, holding it between his hands. "You came back." He said roughly, almost choking on the tears that threatened to burst out of him.

"Of course I did." She whispered tiredly. Nothing else needed to be said as Revan leaned into Carth's warm and steady embrace.

"Do you want to be there when they destroy the Star Forge?"

Revan shook her head. "No. I've done my part. If you…"

Carth placed a finger on her lips to quiet her. "You need me more."

O::==::{-

_Three months later_

Something moved against him, turning over in his arms and pressing deeper into his body. He smiled in his half-awake state, settling deeper under the plush blankets and warm bed. When the teasing kisses started, however, Carth opened his eyes. His fingers brushed through the silky dark strands of the woman with him, as they lay in the large bed that was part of the apartment on Coruscant. It was hard to believe it was a month after the Star Forge's destruction and the defeat of Malak. The Republic Navy awarded him, Revan, and all their companions' medals for the valor and service to the Republic. The Jedi Council restored Revan's title of Jedi Master, and assigned her to help Bastila heal from her path on the Dark Side. What surprised Carth was that Revan refused. She didn't need to be recognized that she was a master of her force abilities and of her destiny. As for helping Bastila, the time of teacher was through. The Force Bond the two shared was broken, leaving both women free of each other. Revan didn't want to stay with Bastila any longer than necessary.

Jolee Bindo understood the reasons, even Carth understood, if the Council did not. Thus, for the time being, they were both in semi-retirement, enjoying some down time that didn't involve light sabers, blasters, enemy droids and so on. Only down side was that HK-47 remained with them. However, it was Revan's droid and despite its questionable ethics, it was loyal to the Jedi that created him.

"Morning." Revan smiled sleepily.

"Morning." Carth answered, bringing his mouth down to kiss her.

"I was dreaming of a house we had, that had some land that stretched as far as they eye could see. Dustil visited us and actually was engaged to be married."

"Sounds wonderful." Carth murmured against Revan's lips.

"It was. We were content." Revan nuzzled against Carth's lips, teasing them with soft nibbles of her teeth. "It was nice to come home…to you…" She persisted in her kisses with Carth's encouragement, as he ran his hands along her skin.

"It is funny you mention this." Carth rasped as he kissed along her jaw. "There happens to be this acreage on Aldaraan that has this expansive view down to the sea."

Revan pulled her head back to look into Carth's smiling eyes. "Oh, really?"

"Mmmhmm. In fact, we are going on a little trip this afternoon."

"So, you happened to have this all planned? No wonder the Ebon Hawk is all prepped." She smiled at him, making his insides burn slowly with awakening passion.

"Didn't I say I would take care of you?"

"Well, you better take of me then, for I am getting hungry." Her smile turned lascivious as she pulled Carth into a deep kiss, her leg pulling him closer to her. He couldn't argue as he felt his own hunger for her start to ignite.

O::==::{-

_Six months later_

He watched her from the doorway, as she stood there at the edge of the cliffside. The wind blew her long hair back lazily. Her eyes was closed to the view, face turned up to feel the breeze caress her cheeks. For Carth, the image was captured in his mind as he saw Revan, the woman he loved, at peace. However, he had a feeling this little idyllic life they had wasn't going to last. It didn't matter, he would take any time he had with her. Dustil, his son, made regular visits, rekindling their own relationship as father and son. He even formed a tight bond with Revan, as they talked about various Jedi training techniques. With Dantooine destroyed, Dustil was relegated to the academy on Coruscant.

It was still hard to believe at times that this incredible woman, this Jedi hero, was his wife. Jolee officiated their wedding, with everyone who was on the Ebon Hawk with them, and his son, witnessing their vows. Revan didn't ask permission from the remaining Jedi Council, knowing that they disapproved her breaking convention and getting personally involved. Her argument was, the heart told her this was right, it wasn't going to be her ruin and for the love she held for Carth, it made her a stronger Jedi than she once was. The old Jedi Master, Jolee, laughed gleefully at the thumb in the eye Revan delivered to the Council. He did recount to her that there had been other Jedi marriages in the past, so to not feel bad at this choice she made. He knew the bond Revan and Carth shared was the strong point in Revan's life, a stabilizing force for her to keep her from reverting to the dark side.

She turned and noticed him watching her and smiled. Her hand rubbed over the mound in front of her, whispering something that was lost on the wind. Revan slowly walked from her meditation point and up to Carth, carefully reaching up to place a kiss on his lips.

"I hope I wasn't keeping you from anything you needed to do." She murmured against his mouth.

"Nope. Come, I have a surprise." Carth slid his hand into hers, wrapping his fingers between Revan's strong slim ones.

They walked into the house and toward a set of bedrooms at one end. Carth grinned as he stopped at a closed door. Reaching for the handle, he gave it a twist and opened it onto the light and airy interior of a nursery. Revan smiled widely, walking forward into the room, hearing the soft sound of windchimes. The same ocean breeze blew softly into the room from a partially open window, providing a fresh scent in the nursery. What made her cry out in pleasure was the crib standing near the center of the room.

"It's beautiful, Carth!" Revan's eyes glittered with unshed tears.

Carth grinned and walked up to her side, sliding an arm around her waist and resting a hand on her extended stomach. Her hand covered his and they both felt a strong kick where their hands were. "She's quite the little fighter." He chuckled.

"Like her father." Revan nodded.

"Nah," He leaned into her and kissed her softly. "like her mother." The baby kicked again, making them both laugh at the antics of the little life inside Revan. Then Revan hissed sharply, making Carth eye her in concern.

"Carth…it's time."

"Time?" His eyes widened as it sunk in that the baby's arrival had come.

O::==::{-

"She's perfect." Carth rasped quietly while Revan lay back against him, holding their new daughter. The newborn had a tight grip on his index finger as it fed from Revan's breast. Kissing Revan's temple, Carth blinked back tears of happiness for this small blessing he held within his arms.

"Father?" Dustil poked his head into the room, where Carth nodded his head for his oldest to enter and meet his new sister. The young man walked softly, cautious about the new baby but as he got closer and looked at the glowing mother and daughter, his face split into a smile.

Revan patted to the empty place at the other side of her on the wide bed. "Join us, Dustil."

He did, sliding carefully at Revan's side and looking over her shoulder at the suckling baby. When the baby hiccupped, opened its eyes and looked up, brother and sister were acquainted, leaving Dustil smitten at once, his chest swelling with pride and love. He carefully and softly stroked across the baby's head, receiving a sigh of contentment from the baby girl. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. "Wow." Dustil said, speechless to have a sibling in his life. He looked proudly at his new mother. "I am going to protect her for as long as she needs it."

"I know you will." Revan said. "Karin is going to need you, Dustil."

"I will see if I can get assigned here on Aldaraan." Dustil said, still caressing the soft skin of his baby sister. "After all, there is an opening here at the palace and it is a short flight from the capitol to here."

"It would be good to have you around." Carth said to his son.

"Here, Dustil." Revan shifted herself and held out the baby to him. "Take her to her crib."

Dustil handled little Karin Onasi with care, awe written across his face as held the tiny bundle. He shuffled toward the inner part of the room where the crib was, rocking his sister and cooing quietly. Carth smiled at his son's back and turned back to his wife as she squeezed his hand. "We've come a long way, my belle."

"Yes we have." Her eyes held his, showing a fierce love for her husband, trying to hide the shadow of sorrow in them. Carth wasn't fooled but he didn't mention it to her that he noticed, or asked the question that was in the back of their minds.

O::==::{-

_One year later_

"Please, don't do this." Carth pleaded again, quietly, his hands cupping Revan's face between them. "For Karin's sake, for Dustil,…for mine."

"I wish I could ignore this and remain, Carth." Sorrow lay heavy in her voice and tears ran freely over cheeks and his fingers. "I don't want to go but I must! I have all my memory back and the true Sith lay beyond the Rim. I have to find them, confront them!"

"No, you don't!" Carth's voice hardened but he sighed, knowing he wouldn't win this tired argument. "Obstinate, frustrating woman."

"That is why you love me." She gave him a small trembling smile.

"True. Promise me you will come back."

"If I can, I will." Revan stroked his bearded cheek lovingly. "Don't let Karin forget me."

"Never!" Carth growled softly. "She will know about her mother, the Jedi that fought the Mandalorian's and Sith, the woman who fought to regain her identity and gained the trust and loyalty of those that were lucky enough to cross her path. I will tell her about the woman I know and love, who loves her daughter more than life itself. No, our daughter will not forget you." He swallowed the large lump in his throat.

"I love you so very much, Carth Onasi." Revan whispered roughly.

"I love you more than life itself, my belle." He rasped out. Carth kissed Revan tenderly, holding onto her for as long as he could. He felt her pull away reluctantly, her fingers drifting off his face the further she pulled and walked toward the Ebon Hawk. T3 whistled sorrowfully as she leaned over to lay a lingering kiss on little Karin's head. She gave Dustil a quick embrace, whispering something in his ear and proceeded to board the freighter.

Carth stood stiffly, trying hard not to cry openly as he watched the ramp close on the Ebon Hawk and it thrusted off the landing pad and started its journey off the planet and to the reaches of space beyond. Dustil walked to his side and stood there, holding the solemn baby as she watched her mother leave. Turning to his son and daughter, Carth steeled himself, swallowed the lump, and cleared his throat. He lay a soft caress on his daughter's cheek who had Revan's bright grey eyes. Leaning down, he gave her a kiss and felt her little arms surround his neck, wanting him to hold her. Father and daughter held each other, giving comfort and already missing the most important woman in their lives.

O::==::{-

Six years had passed and Carth remained loyal in his heart to his wife, Revan. Somehow, he would have known if she had died, as would have Karin. Their daughter was force sensitive, like her mother and brother, and was becoming a quick study in the padawan training. He was an admiral in the Republic fleet now, once again, having defeated the forces of the sith and a new Sith Lord that gained power out of the ashes of the Jedi Civil War and the defeat of Malak. This time, the Exile returned and regained her connection to the Force to help the Republic defeat the latest menace.

Carth rubbed at his brow, tired and heartsick for his missing wife. He had tasked the Exile, Meetra, to search for her and send any news back to him. It was a long shot but Meetra was with Revan during the Mandalorian War, so had a fair chance of finding the Jedi Master. Jolee always reminded Carth that even when the man felt hopeless in ever seeing his lost wife again, that the Force sent his care and love to where ever she may be. Certain bonds were not meant to be broken until one or the other dies. Familial bonds are the same way, so little Karin would also know if her mother died.

Dustil finally attained his knight rank and headed a small contingent of new Jedi on Aldaraan, off in a remote monastery in the mountains. The Exile helped send potential Jedi to them in order to rebuild the Order. Even her partner, Atton Rand, joined Dustil, and together they set the foundation for a new Jedi Order. Carth, though, was tired and getting older, being a man in his late-forties now. He still did his duty to the Republic as a fleet Admiral but he was nearing a point where he was going to hang up the bars and go on his own hunt for Revan.

"Papa! Papa!" Karin yelled from across the small courtyard, slamming the front door open to their house and into his study. She bounded up to him, exited about something, her grey eyes shining with extreme joy, the brown hair all in disarray as it tended to be when she was off on one of her adventures.

He turned in his chair and held out his arms. However, instead of climbing up into his lap, the seven-year old girl grabbed his hands and tugged with all her strength to pull Carth up from the chair. "What is it, kitten?"

"She's here!" Her face broke into a wide smile, impatience at wanting to get moving evident in her slim frame.

"Who is here?" He looked at Karin in confusion.

The girl only smiled wider and pulled on her father harder. Sighing in exasperation, Carth got up from his chair and let himself be pulled along out of the house. However, what got his attention first was the familiar whine of the Ebon Hawk. Dustil and Atton came running from the other end of the driveway to the Onasi estate, yelling in excitement as the Ebon Hawk banked and turned toward the landing pad for small ships and shuttles.

Karin grinned and hopped in place, obviously anxious to see who was on the ship. Carth didn't want to hope it might be her, so kept his rising hope at bay until someone stepped off the battered freighter. Dustil and Atton joined him, out of breath and cheerful. "Well?" Carth raised an eyebrow at them.

"I'm not spoiling this for you, father." Dustil said.

"I never thought I would be glad to see that heap of junk again." Atton grinned.

"Hey, that heap of junk pulled through a lot and managed to get many of us out of hell with our skin intact." Carth retorted.

The whine of the thrusters as the Ebon Hawk lowered filled their hearing and the freighter touched ground perfectly. Atton shook his head, grinning at some inside joke, crossing his arms over his chest, waiting for the ship to let down the ramp. Karin sighed dramatically, itching for whatever or whoever was on the Ebon Hawk to walk down. Carth was curious and anxious himself, but dare not raise his hopes lest they be cruelly dashed.

The first figure ambled down the ramp, the step light, robes flowing back as they walked with a sure step. The bright head of Meetra appeared, with a ready smile on her face at the welcoming committee. Atton forewent Jedi decorum and ran up to her, picking up the female Jedi in his arms and swinging her around. Carth had to chuckle as the scoundrel laid a passionate kiss on the dazed woman. Dustil looked over to his father and smiled, nodding for him to pay attention. He turned his eyes back to the ramp and Carth's breath hitched. The next person to walk down did so with a slow, almost unsure walk. The cowl of the robes was drawn up and hid the face of the Jedi. A wookie, if Carth was mistaken, it was Zaalbar, held the elbow of the figure tenderly.

"My belle…" Carth breathed. Dustil smiled at his father.

"Mama!" Little Karin called out and dashed out of Carth's hand and ran up to her long lost mother. The little girl stopped short of running her mother down and looked up into the hooded figure, joy suffusing her little face. Carth watched the woman kneel down with help in front of Karin, reaching out with thin fingers to the soft skin of her daughter. Then, pulling Karin closer, wrapped her arms around the young girl and held her. Karin threw her arms around her mother and cried.

Carth didn't notice that he was walking until he stopped in front of the reunion. Zaalbar nodded his furry head and stepped aside for him. The cowled figure stood up slowly, Karin providing what help she could. Carth felt tears sting his eyes as he raised a shaky hand to the deep cowl. His other hand joined him and he proceeded to push back the hood of the Jedi robes. The sight before him made his heart ache with love.

Revan.

Revan made it back to him. She looked malnourished and frail; her dark hair was shorn and patchy, where Carth could see healing bruises from some sort of torture on her. The grey eyes that looked at him were haunted but a spark of happiness gleamed in the depths. Carth closed the distance between him and his wife, tenderly placing his hands on her thin face and tilting it upwards. He ever so softly kissed her dry lips, feeling her flinch at first and then remembering his touch give in to the affectionate gesture.

"My belle, you are home." His voice said roughly when he parted the kiss.

"I am." Her voice was a whisper.

"Did you find what you needed?"

"Yes, once I stepped off the Hawk." Her eyes wavered in his gaze but Revan held firm. "I got what I needed to know but…you, Karin, Dustil—are what I need." Revan's voice cracked.

Carth smiled, his thumb brushing across Revan's lips. Karin tugged on his jacket to where he looked down at his daughter. Releasing his wife for a moment, he bent down and picked up their daughter, holding her between them. Revan's tears finally released and coursed down her face, her hand shakily stroking her daughter's face and the other cupping Carth's.

"Welcome home, my love." Carth rasped out.

"Welcome home, mama." Karin piped up

O::==::{-

_One week after Revan's return_

His arms held her against his chest as they looked out over the churning sea. The sun was setting the water on fire and the sky turned into an array of deep purples, burnished golds, and oranges. It had been an eventful week since her return. Carth requested leave from the fleet, friends of theirs dropped by to welcome Revan home. Nothing needed to be said about where she was and what happened. For what happened was still visible as there were new scars on her body and a quietness to the woman now. It was going to take time for Revan to regain most of her old self, for Carth sensed that the reason she hadn't returned earlier was that she couldn't. Meetra had related her tale of picking up Revan's trail in the Uncharted Territories, risking her own life for the woman in order to bring her home.

They never would have made it if weren't for Zaalbar. The wookie went after Revan when she had left, growling something about a lifedebt to Revan. Meetra didn't understand but Carth did. A wookies lifedebt was forever and could never be repaid unless you did something to dishonor the debt with a wookie. Zaalbar remained with them when the Ebon Hawk left with Meetra and Atton onboard. He tasked himself to be Revan's bodyguard until the end of her life, or his. This encompassed Carth and little Karin, who instantly attached herself to the walking rug.

"You worried too much." Revan broke the silence of their contemplation.

"What do you mean?"

"There is some Force sensitivity in you, my love. Your strong emotions carried through our bond." Revan moved her head back to look at Carth.

"I might have done a little worrying." Carth gave a small, abashed grin.

"A little?" Revan raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, a lot." Carth sighed.

"Thank you." Revan said quietly. "Your thoughts kept me sane and from breaking when I most wanted to."

"So, what will you do now?" Carth asked quietly.

Revan looked out over the water and sighed deeply. He felt her body relax even further into his chest, to which he tightened his arms around her. "Be a mother and wife.

Resting his cheek against her head, Carth smiled happily. She was home—for good.


End file.
